Dear You

It’s been a while thirteen years in fact

From that day you left and never came back

In my darkest hours I reached out to you

But your still gone and without a clue

Because that’s what they say to do

When the Suicide thought’s get through

My therapist asked when I last saw you

And I said I don’t know but that’s nothing new

I ponder this life alone and create my support network as I go

She said this is the time that Jenny had time to grow

Until that unfortunate day I went back home

Things changed that day and the Depression started to show

I found someone who made me feel safe

But I ruined it with all my issues, as it wasn’t the right time or place

I heard the words grow up and get your own life

It may have not been for me but the anxiety thinks it might

Either way the shoe fits so I might as well wear it for a little bit

But then the healthy minds with married parents

tend to struggle to understand and be empathetic

But then I suppose from an outside view this situation does seem pathetic

and I can’t expect someone without the experience to just get it

But I don’t blame or shame them at all

In fact I’m glad they’re happy and mentally stable

 

I tried my best I tried to put it to rest

I tried to call you when I was a mess

But like I said you both made me

And then decided I was nobody

I grew older and you faded like silhouettes

So I tried to cope in many ways with Cigarettes

I grieved your absenceses with unfortunate substances

But during that dark time my family were not to be seen

And the people to help were my friends and they were keen

They desperately wanted me here like you guys never cared

And they knew I was dying and they got scared

But unlike you they were definitely prepared

One held me tight cuddled me close

While I went into shock from the overdose

As my organs were shutting down

And I thought it would all be over now

One phoned me and saved my life

And made me drop that stupid knife

I was rapidly bleeding out but she stayed with me

Through that long shaky walk to A and E

Another came to the hospital and stayed the night

Because she could see I was still shaking from fright

She sat with me while I was on the drip

hanging onto life by a small strip

I’m so grateful I can now see

All the people who are here for me

What doesn’t matter is my broken history

Even though most of it still causes me misery

I’m fighting this and I’m getting stronger

So now I will be around for even longer

I’m sorry Dad and I’m sorry Mum

That I wasn’t able to just be gone

But you don’t have to see me

But my friends still want me for tea

And I’m going to stay here with them

But Dear you, you don’t have to see me again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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