At Least That’s What Depression Tells Me

The Noise in my head

Goes round and round

Telling me to stay in bed

A nuisance of nonsense of sounds

They say take life by both hands

But no one told me it would fall through

Like sand

Parties and happiness

No care for sadness

But I sit here alone

Trapped by my madness

Isolated by my own illness

Trapped by the mental sickness

No one but me as it’s witness

They don’t want me here I’m not wanted

The feelings of Depression

Keeping them away like I’m haunted

Trying to teach out desperately

But like sand it slips through my hands

Sitting suffering silently

I didn’t ask for this

This was not what I aimed for

Early twenties expected to love life

But here I am trapped here away from

The light

It’s like a toxic darkness

Has grabbed me from within

Constantly breakdowns

Are now my new thing

No one cares

No one gives a shit

So I smile there

And hide it

No one wants to know

But the expensive therapist

No one wants to help

No one can help you through it

But I’m losing quality of life through my mind

Waiting for God to give me a sign

But there’s no one

There’s nothing

I have nothing to lose

So what’s the use?

The strongest anti-depressants

The Highest dose to existence

Meditation with medication

Slowly disappointing everyone’s expectation

The best I can be is distant

Emotionless

Smiles all around

Love seems motionless

But I’m hurt by everything

But I’ve even fallen in love

But that kind of life isn’t for me

Because the pain I’ve felt before

Has shaped my destiny

At least that’s what Depression tells me

Because the pain is always there

The feeling of leaving this realm

Is so pure

It keeps my heart sore

Dealings with things that are too much for me

The last twenty years we’re too intense

And to what extent

People will go to ruin me

Is bitter and bigger then me

Just fighting with a breathe

That’s long gone

My inner strength is burnt out

Mental illness is unattractive no doubt

It makes me unlovable, destructible

At least that what Depression tells me

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