What Isn’t Real But Feels Real

Depression’s real
But what comes with it isn’t
It’s a tough road to heal
But my brain seems hesitant
I’m scared of being alone
But I’m too scared to connect
It’s like switching road to road
To avoid lifes car wreck
I was left and disowned
Shamed and rejected by the people who should want me
So now I’m on my own
Surrounded by people
Who won’t hurt me badly
But I’m scared they’ll leave
Like the people before did
And that pain I still aggreive
And it’s echo is morbid
One look or dismissive act
Is enough to scare me away
Because the pain it brings back
Is so strong
That I avoid them for days and days
My brain tells me that no one likes me
That I’m a burden and thats what people see
Clingy and overbearing and people just want to breathe
If I don’t show my face
No one would care
no one would notice
And that they  don’t want me there
But they just don’t show it on the surface
Most of all it makes me feel worthless
Depression makes me feel all sorts of things
But I just want to tell someone
But I’m too scared to let them in
I want to ask them if they want me?
Do they want my company genuinly?
Will they hurt me and tell me to go?
Can I please have a cuddle because I’m feeling so low
I see the light over the horizen
I just hope I make it there soon


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