Silenced By Shame

I wake up each day

And ignore the grey

Forever scared

It will send the fog

My way

 

What you see

And what I see

Are totally different

 

Because what’s in me

And what I try to be

Doesn’t seem coherent

 

I want to say what’s going on

But I don’t want to ruin

Us getting along

 

It’s like my brains

Screams one thing

And my body screams

Another

 

It’s like one shouts insane

And the other shouts

Take cover

 

The wolfs excited

Here comes the

The one year anniversary

But I try to hide it

And it’s haunting adversary

 

Don’t let anyone in

That’s what I learnt

As throughout existing

I just end up getting hurt

 

This illness isn’t mine

It was drilled into me

Throughout time

 

So why am I carrying it?

Why do I have to fight it?

I didn’t ask

To be lumbered with it

 

Still picking up the pieces

From someone else’s

Mental rage

 

Hopefully now they’ll leave me

Hopefully now they’re satisfied

Till the end of days

With their peace of mind

 

 

It seemed to last forever

And the extent

They would go

To ruin me

 

Well…

It showed me

A side of life scarier than

Ever

 

No heroes

No saviours

You’re on your own

Kid I’ll see you later

 

A reoccurring theme

That runs through my destiny

 

Sending me a Depression

That brought me to my knees

 

While a being kicked

Me down harder

With a passion for giving

Trauma

 

Silenced

By emotional

Violence

 

No I’m resistant

To let people know

If I need assistance

 

I don’t want to be the person

That the label brings

If I worsen

I’ll just keep it

Tucked within

 

Because the voice of shame

Shouts louder then

The emotional pain

 

Talk to me when

You’re not okay

But negativity

Pushes people away

 

So I’m scared to say

If I’m struggling in

The grey

 

Society warns people

That the mentally different are dangerous

That we should treat these people

As strangers and not our neighbours

 

Out casted by our own race

Might as well shoot us

Down in that case

 

So I will

Deal with this myself

People want to help

They care for my health

 

But the voice of shame

Continues its silencing

Rein

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