My Hopes In Healing

Growing up people left

I’ll be here for you

Is what they said


I learnt the hard way

That those you love

Will leave with the overcast

When times get rough


When the terror gets real

When pain gets worse

They’re the first to leave

They’re the first to disperse


Left to carry the family shame

Of keeping quiet of the business

That’s causing the internal hurricane


An invisible hand print bruise

From someone who views you

As something to use


Pushed away for not being perfect

From unrealistic idealistic



No one’s free

Children born from dark minds

Will constantly

Be haunted from what’s left behind


Chained to shame

Shackles of pain

Stains of blame

From battles in hell


Words that sting

Become noise within

Sounds of screams

Are now broken in


I can change my name

But I can’t escape the bloodline

I can change my ways

But I can’t escape triggers that Hyde


Bringing strongly formed hopes

Into my future

That I used as a life rope

To bring my dreams closer


Told to trust no one

And demonstrated by the speaker

Taught to love no one

Because it will be lost to the preacher


To grow and heal

And care for others

But remembering at will

It’s just you once life takes you under

I don’t expect you to love me back

Or feel waves of happiness

I’ll keep myself on track

Without life’s sadness


Try your best

Try harder

Because one day

Your life will fill with laughter


We’ll step out of Depression

And into a home

With a family and stability


Where no one is disowned

With no mental games

And only love is shown


No more back packing

No more moving

No more safe here one day

But told to go away

The next


No more storms

Swirling at you

No more rivers

To cry into


Just a little more love

And a touch of happiness

I’m sure the universe can voucher that

If I work hard and make good progress


So this is goodbye

Have a great day

Song long past

So long grey


They said you were beside yourself

But you rejected me

And ruined my mental health


Sabotaged my life

And sent me insane

You might have well used a knife

If that was your game


But casting me away was your best

Decision yet

Because no relationship is better

Then an unhealthy one yes?


So I’ll let people push me away

I’ll let those who want to walk out

Of my life leave


If they reject me it’s that distance I’ll stay

If they scream and shout

Another step away is where I’ll be


Because holding on

And repeating mistakes

Is like not letting go of a thorn

That should be tossed to the lake


It will be okay

Just keep focused

And walk and prey


You broke my heart

Over and over again

Before any women could


And hopefully one day

I can make a fresh start

And open up


Without fear

Of being emotionally attacked

With a loved one near

With only love and friendly contact


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s