If I Was Them

Would you want me more

If I looked like them
Would you look at me in ore
If I was like them
Would I be on your mind
If I was that kind of girl
Would you keep pictures
Of me and show me off
If I looked like those girls
Would you keep photos
Of me
Like you do of them
Would you make me significantly
Like you do your friends
So people know you’re actually with me
Or atleast pretend
There isn’t a time that isn’t clearer
When I look into the mirror
And realise I will never be that
For years I held that
For months I never said
Because you tell me
It’s for inspiration instead
So I held the pain
And cried in vain
Instead
And I shouldn’t care
Because you can’t force one
To look at you in that way
No touch nor hold
Or loving my body
Feeling cold
Like nobody wants me
But I still dare
To dream on
That it will happen one day
But until then
I’ll simply let myself
Pretend
Grandma sees the
Tears
When she sits and has to hear
That I’m trying to alter my body
For all the wrong reasons
So for once someone can hold
me and think, wow you’re magnificent
But over time acceptence
Has it’s way
Even with resistence
The feeling will start to fade
As it will never happen
And people don’t change
It’s been a year
And it’s still the same
And it won’t matter anymore
And things will never be
Like what they were before
It won’t be so sore
So painful
That you wish you were more
Father wanted me to find
Someone who thinks I’m perfect
Now he’s worried I will be left
And left stranded
I’m not good enough
I hear it everywhere
Trying too much
I’m feeling despair
All I do is
Cry and
Cry and
Cry and
Cry
I’m lost
And I don’t know what to do
Mother earth please guide
Me through

 

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